Choices

Tanner's first couple of teeth are coming through FINALLY!!!

I think as a result he slept super well last night. "Well" means about 5 1/2 hours without waking up. Sleep is such a ridiculously controversial issue when it comes to babies. By our own cultural standards our little Tanner isn't the best sleeper. But as with anything else regarding decisions we're making for the outcome of our child's future and life, it isn't something we are doing arbitrarily. I've done a ton of research about infant sleep patterns and poured over books and articles and blogs all saying a million different things.

What I've come to find most comforting are the words of people suggesting that we do or don't do something that I already feel is right naturally. But in this day and age when people see you tired from your baby constantly waking you up at night, I think they must feel like they need to solve that problem for you and eventually, almost anyone you talk to gives the same advice, sleep train your baby. Otherwise known as "cry it out".

This isn't the way we ever plan to go and our reasons are numerous but it's shocking how many people do "give in" to this advice. And I can't tell people what to do with their babies anymore than they should try to tell me what to do with mine (even though they do, all the time) but what I can't help but feel so distraught over is the families that give in to the timed crying methods against every parental instinct that they have because someone else told them it's the only way. Fine, it may be the only way for YOU. But don't try to convince someone else to do it when they are saying their gut is telling them otherwise. That's what I have to take issue with. Let each family make their own, hopefully informed, decisions.

And all I can say is that I hope more parents and families do both sides of the research. Because hopefully what they will find is how damaging emotionally, psychologically, mentally and even PHYSICALLY it is to let your child cry it out, for any length of time.

okay, end of first "advocacy" rant. I take comfort in the fact that although every night we wonder how much sleep we will get all together, that this does not last forever. And in the long run, I know I can look back and not regret doing something I wasn't comfortable with. And my son will sleep through the night, it's a developmental milestone like crawling or walking or getting teeth. It will happen on his terms, with our help and guidance, but when HE is ready to sleep "through the night" because he has a right to be a part of the decision making process, even though he does not have the same manner of communicating with us, he is talking to us and telling us what he needs and wants.

Parenting isn't supposed to be convenient. I don't mean that in a bad way, because lord knows before ever having a child I never pictured myself as a mother because it is such a selfless experience, but not in the way you would expect. It's the easiest thing in the world to be present for your child and love them like they deserve. There are some things that we need to say with authority for our babies' safety and health, but we are in this together. It's about working with them, not doing things to them where they don't even have a say...

Isn't that what all human beings deserve? I think so...I'll try to start with my own...