So.....
Yikes, we had a very close call this morning. I signed Tanner up for swimming lessons at a place I thought would be great based on its reputation.
The lesson could not have ended soon enough. But I'm happy to report that at least I stood up for my beliefs and what I thought was in the best interest of my son. I'm not very good at doing that normally and it's hard being a new mom and not letting other people try to get you to do something you are really not okay with.
Basically it's the type of place that just dunks the kids under water on day 1. Now we have taken Tanner into our neighborhood pool a few times, obviously holding him the whole time, and he really seems to enjoy it. It takes a minute or two for him to get used to the water but then he really likes being in the pool with us.
Today they wanted to just shove his face under water within like the first 10 minutes and I was so not okay with that. Their philosophy is that if "you hesitate about it, then your baby/child will too". Well, sorry I don't think my barely 9 month old son is going to be hesitant about swimming because I have faith that when he is ready to put his mouth, nose, face, whole self under water, he will. I could go on and on about my own personal preferences in this instance...
But all I will say is that there was another baby with us and he was screaming and crying the entire time. His mom and the instructor just kept pushing him through everything, continuing to somewhat forcefully push his face under water when he clearly was terrified and not wanting to do it.
I guess I just don't understand...
But again, I spoke up on Tanner's behalf and mine that I wasn't comfortable having him do that just yet.
Time to look for another swim lesson place!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Little Random Things
I want to start getting better about just logging some stuff that Tanner does as well as my experience of being his mom and watching him explore the world around him.
So this is probably not going to be interesting to ANYONE but me and Jeff too. But this is my version of "baby booking" so sorry about that! But of course feel free to read on. I just want to remember some of this stuff a few months from now since things change SO fast!
-He loves to just pat his hand on something to feel out the material, like new surfaces or anything his hands come in contact with. Some examples:
*Kitchen table
*Highchair tray
*Wrapping paper from a birthday present
*Wicker laundry basket top
Anything is up for patting (banging most of the time). You can just see the wheels turning.
-He crawls EVERYWHERE. It's hard to imagine what it was like when he did not crawl. And it's even harder to imagine what it's going to be like when he takes his first steps but they are so close. I'm trying to enjoy the crawling stage without wanting to get too excited to see him walk - because then I know it's REALLY over. Haha.
-When he crawls, he sometimes just drags his left leg along like...I don't even know what...but it's really funny. Hopefully we can catch it on video at somepoint.
-He smiles and laughs, deep laughs from his belly and he LOVES to interact with his now. He can entertain himself quite well with just random toys that are everyday household objects but every few minutes he will look back up at me to see that I'm watching, and I always am, I'll smile at him, he smiles right back, and then he continues playing. He knows I just can't get enough of him!
Okay, that's it for now I think...
Tanner - you are so much fun!
So this is probably not going to be interesting to ANYONE but me and Jeff too. But this is my version of "baby booking" so sorry about that! But of course feel free to read on. I just want to remember some of this stuff a few months from now since things change SO fast!
-He loves to just pat his hand on something to feel out the material, like new surfaces or anything his hands come in contact with. Some examples:
*Kitchen table
*Highchair tray
*Wrapping paper from a birthday present
*Wicker laundry basket top
Anything is up for patting (banging most of the time). You can just see the wheels turning.
-He crawls EVERYWHERE. It's hard to imagine what it was like when he did not crawl. And it's even harder to imagine what it's going to be like when he takes his first steps but they are so close. I'm trying to enjoy the crawling stage without wanting to get too excited to see him walk - because then I know it's REALLY over. Haha.
-When he crawls, he sometimes just drags his left leg along like...I don't even know what...but it's really funny. Hopefully we can catch it on video at somepoint.
-He smiles and laughs, deep laughs from his belly and he LOVES to interact with his now. He can entertain himself quite well with just random toys that are everyday household objects but every few minutes he will look back up at me to see that I'm watching, and I always am, I'll smile at him, he smiles right back, and then he continues playing. He knows I just can't get enough of him!
Okay, that's it for now I think...
Tanner - you are so much fun!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Remembering Rene
Disclaimer: this is a sad post. Don't say I didn't warn you but it's necessary for me to write about this somewhere.
I lost a dear friend and former co-worker of mine. We all lost her. She was a true gift to the world. She was only 50 years old.
She passed away from cancer Sunday night. She had only been diagnosed a month ago or not even. Last night I went to her service. She was the Director of Student Leadership at Notre Dame. Our offices were right next door to each other.
The church was absolutely packed to over maximum capacity. All the seats were filled and people were standing all the back wall and the side walls half way up to the altar. It was incredible to see how many people loved and knew this woman, Rene.
She was actually my fourth grade P.E. teacher and then I remembered her instantly when she was hired at ND.
She would talk to you about anything and everything and always listen to stories. She had two amazing grandchildren through her stepdaughter that she just absolutely adored and was so proud of. She always asked about Tanner. She was the first person on campus I told about Roma dying when we returned from spring break. She was so sad about what had happened. For me unfortunately what has now happened in her life and death was way too eerily similar to Roma...I know losing a human being takes on an entire different experience than a pet but also I just know that both of them were way too young, died shockingly fast (like so fast I still can't process what has truly happened to Rene), and both of them were just amazing "creatures" human and canine, that were put on this earth and into my life for amazing reasons.
Okay well I'd like to keep writing more and I probably will but now my son needs me and I need to be with him. I am ever more grateful for his presence and Jeff's through this experience. We are truly blessed with the gift of new life that I get to be with every day...
I lost a dear friend and former co-worker of mine. We all lost her. She was a true gift to the world. She was only 50 years old.
She passed away from cancer Sunday night. She had only been diagnosed a month ago or not even. Last night I went to her service. She was the Director of Student Leadership at Notre Dame. Our offices were right next door to each other.
The church was absolutely packed to over maximum capacity. All the seats were filled and people were standing all the back wall and the side walls half way up to the altar. It was incredible to see how many people loved and knew this woman, Rene.
She was actually my fourth grade P.E. teacher and then I remembered her instantly when she was hired at ND.
She would talk to you about anything and everything and always listen to stories. She had two amazing grandchildren through her stepdaughter that she just absolutely adored and was so proud of. She always asked about Tanner. She was the first person on campus I told about Roma dying when we returned from spring break. She was so sad about what had happened. For me unfortunately what has now happened in her life and death was way too eerily similar to Roma...I know losing a human being takes on an entire different experience than a pet but also I just know that both of them were way too young, died shockingly fast (like so fast I still can't process what has truly happened to Rene), and both of them were just amazing "creatures" human and canine, that were put on this earth and into my life for amazing reasons.
Okay well I'd like to keep writing more and I probably will but now my son needs me and I need to be with him. I am ever more grateful for his presence and Jeff's through this experience. We are truly blessed with the gift of new life that I get to be with every day...
Monday, August 2, 2010
Choices
Tanner's first couple of teeth are coming through FINALLY!!!
I think as a result he slept super well last night. "Well" means about 5 1/2 hours without waking up. Sleep is such a ridiculously controversial issue when it comes to babies. By our own cultural standards our little Tanner isn't the best sleeper. But as with anything else regarding decisions we're making for the outcome of our child's future and life, it isn't something we are doing arbitrarily. I've done a ton of research about infant sleep patterns and poured over books and articles and blogs all saying a million different things.
What I've come to find most comforting are the words of people suggesting that we do or don't do something that I already feel is right naturally. But in this day and age when people see you tired from your baby constantly waking you up at night, I think they must feel like they need to solve that problem for you and eventually, almost anyone you talk to gives the same advice, sleep train your baby. Otherwise known as "cry it out".
This isn't the way we ever plan to go and our reasons are numerous but it's shocking how many people do "give in" to this advice. And I can't tell people what to do with their babies anymore than they should try to tell me what to do with mine (even though they do, all the time) but what I can't help but feel so distraught over is the families that give in to the timed crying methods against every parental instinct that they have because someone else told them it's the only way. Fine, it may be the only way for YOU. But don't try to convince someone else to do it when they are saying their gut is telling them otherwise. That's what I have to take issue with. Let each family make their own, hopefully informed, decisions.
And all I can say is that I hope more parents and families do both sides of the research. Because hopefully what they will find is how damaging emotionally, psychologically, mentally and even PHYSICALLY it is to let your child cry it out, for any length of time.
okay, end of first "advocacy" rant. I take comfort in the fact that although every night we wonder how much sleep we will get all together, that this does not last forever. And in the long run, I know I can look back and not regret doing something I wasn't comfortable with. And my son will sleep through the night, it's a developmental milestone like crawling or walking or getting teeth. It will happen on his terms, with our help and guidance, but when HE is ready to sleep "through the night" because he has a right to be a part of the decision making process, even though he does not have the same manner of communicating with us, he is talking to us and telling us what he needs and wants.
Parenting isn't supposed to be convenient. I don't mean that in a bad way, because lord knows before ever having a child I never pictured myself as a mother because it is such a selfless experience, but not in the way you would expect. It's the easiest thing in the world to be present for your child and love them like they deserve. There are some things that we need to say with authority for our babies' safety and health, but we are in this together. It's about working with them, not doing things to them where they don't even have a say...
Isn't that what all human beings deserve? I think so...I'll try to start with my own...
I think as a result he slept super well last night. "Well" means about 5 1/2 hours without waking up. Sleep is such a ridiculously controversial issue when it comes to babies. By our own cultural standards our little Tanner isn't the best sleeper. But as with anything else regarding decisions we're making for the outcome of our child's future and life, it isn't something we are doing arbitrarily. I've done a ton of research about infant sleep patterns and poured over books and articles and blogs all saying a million different things.
What I've come to find most comforting are the words of people suggesting that we do or don't do something that I already feel is right naturally. But in this day and age when people see you tired from your baby constantly waking you up at night, I think they must feel like they need to solve that problem for you and eventually, almost anyone you talk to gives the same advice, sleep train your baby. Otherwise known as "cry it out".
This isn't the way we ever plan to go and our reasons are numerous but it's shocking how many people do "give in" to this advice. And I can't tell people what to do with their babies anymore than they should try to tell me what to do with mine (even though they do, all the time) but what I can't help but feel so distraught over is the families that give in to the timed crying methods against every parental instinct that they have because someone else told them it's the only way. Fine, it may be the only way for YOU. But don't try to convince someone else to do it when they are saying their gut is telling them otherwise. That's what I have to take issue with. Let each family make their own, hopefully informed, decisions.
And all I can say is that I hope more parents and families do both sides of the research. Because hopefully what they will find is how damaging emotionally, psychologically, mentally and even PHYSICALLY it is to let your child cry it out, for any length of time.
okay, end of first "advocacy" rant. I take comfort in the fact that although every night we wonder how much sleep we will get all together, that this does not last forever. And in the long run, I know I can look back and not regret doing something I wasn't comfortable with. And my son will sleep through the night, it's a developmental milestone like crawling or walking or getting teeth. It will happen on his terms, with our help and guidance, but when HE is ready to sleep "through the night" because he has a right to be a part of the decision making process, even though he does not have the same manner of communicating with us, he is talking to us and telling us what he needs and wants.
Parenting isn't supposed to be convenient. I don't mean that in a bad way, because lord knows before ever having a child I never pictured myself as a mother because it is such a selfless experience, but not in the way you would expect. It's the easiest thing in the world to be present for your child and love them like they deserve. There are some things that we need to say with authority for our babies' safety and health, but we are in this together. It's about working with them, not doing things to them where they don't even have a say...
Isn't that what all human beings deserve? I think so...I'll try to start with my own...
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Random musings
So I know that practically no one follows this blog except my wonderful husband and a few other friends...and really it's more of a space for me to express my thoughts and experiences as a mom but I might take a different turn here so bare with me:
Ever since becoming a mom I have done a ton of reading and researching on different infant theories and strategies. What I have come to find mostly is how against the American grain we have chosen to do things.
So my posts might start to be more about adovocacy for what I really believe to be important about how are and should be with our babies. You can take it or leave it. This is just our experience but it is working for us and there is a lot of critical evidence to back us up a bit...
And I have found a possible new passion to study and maybe even return to school someday to study: child psychology and early development.
Stay tuned!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Ever since becoming a mom I have done a ton of reading and researching on different infant theories and strategies. What I have come to find mostly is how against the American grain we have chosen to do things.
So my posts might start to be more about adovocacy for what I really believe to be important about how are and should be with our babies. You can take it or leave it. This is just our experience but it is working for us and there is a lot of critical evidence to back us up a bit...
And I have found a possible new passion to study and maybe even return to school someday to study: child psychology and early development.
Stay tuned!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, July 12, 2010
Tanner's new cousin!
As of yesterday, I am now the proud Aunt of a new baby girl, Belen Sophia Mino. She was born at 3:12pm to my sister and her husband in San Jose. It's truly amazing to bring another beautiful and healthy child into the world.
My sister and I have always been close - only 18 months apart - and best friends our whole lives. Now I am thrilled we get to experience the joys and challenges of motherhood together.
Not to mention Tanner has another cousin to play with!
My sister and I joked to each other a long time ago that someday we'd both be married with our kids and live down the block from each other.
Scary thing (and amazing thing) is: now that has actually come true! We are very blessed.
My sister and I have always been close - only 18 months apart - and best friends our whole lives. Now I am thrilled we get to experience the joys and challenges of motherhood together.
Not to mention Tanner has another cousin to play with!
My sister and I joked to each other a long time ago that someday we'd both be married with our kids and live down the block from each other.
Scary thing (and amazing thing) is: now that has actually come true! We are very blessed.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Obon Festival
This weekend marks the first of probably very many Obon festivals for Tanner!
Jeff has worked in the Raffle/Information booth for 38 years. He is very proud, as am I, to have our son here for the first time "helping" out.
Jeff used to work with his grandfather at Obon so we are passing on the tradition
The food is awesome. The weather is beautiful and we get to see all the people from the community that knew Jeff so well growing up. Here comes the next generation!
What a memorable weekend this will be! Next year it's so hard to imagine but Tanner will he running around! Watch out then...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Jeff has worked in the Raffle/Information booth for 38 years. He is very proud, as am I, to have our son here for the first time "helping" out.
Jeff used to work with his grandfather at Obon so we are passing on the tradition
The food is awesome. The weather is beautiful and we get to see all the people from the community that knew Jeff so well growing up. Here comes the next generation!
What a memorable weekend this will be! Next year it's so hard to imagine but Tanner will he running around! Watch out then...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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